Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Feb. 10, 2009

Valentines Day is upon us once again. Romance is in the air or so they say. The guineas are running in circles and chasing each other. At our house we say that it is ‘twitter-paitting’ season. The term comes from the Disney movie ‘Bambi’. Soon there will be a guinea sitting on a nest full of eggs then the little hatchlings will show themselves. Ah- the circle of life.
I just love the comic strip the ‘Lockhorns’, the TV sitcom ‘Everyone Loves Raymond’, ‘Two and Half Men’ and other shows that people get themselves in a predicament and in thirty short minutes they resolve the issues in a odd and comical ways. It seems that I take a lot of pleasure in other people’s misery.
Misery loves company or so the story goes- My story is not so much misery as Achhhhh!
Jim came into the kitchen and noticed that I had the silk roses he had given me a year or so ago. These roses have been out most all of the time- but he chose this week to let me know that they look as good now as they did when he gave them to me- Having spent 32 Valentine Days with this man I knew just exactly what he was getting at- I told that they were very nice but I am sure the flowers that I pick out for myself and let him pay for will be just as pretty. I am learning a few tricks of my own.
The other day I received a little ‘ditty’ that I found entertaining I hope that you do, too. It is entitled ‘And then the fight started…’ the author is unknown.
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started... My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale. And then the fight started... When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station. And then the fight started... I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" Nah, she can order for herself." And then the fight started... A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.' And then the fight started..... My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday and then the fight started..... A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!' So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!' The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?' And then the fight started..... Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?' And then the fight started…

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